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“The Beaches Of St Valery”  which formed part of my PhD in English Literature from the University Of Glasgow premiere on Monday 6th of March. I am currently in negotiations to tour the play in the new year.

Here are a selection of the Four Star Reviews.

Mary Brennan In The Herald. Four Stars.

http://www.heraldscotland.com/arts_ents/stage/15137093.Theatre_review__The_Beaches_of_St_Valery__Oran_Mor__Glasgow/

Joyce McMillan in The Scotsman. Four Stars.

http://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/culture/theatre/theatre-reviews-the-beaches-of-st-valery-transit-la-cage-aux-folles-1-4389166

Mumbles Theatre Blog . Four Stars

The Beaches of St Valery

 

The play follows the life of a young Scottish Soldier of the Queens Own Cameron Highlanders and  the 51st Highland Division  from 1938 to the end of the war in 1946.

We see our everyman soldier  go from a carefree 18 year old  roads engineer to a battle-hardened veteran of 26.

The photograph below shows the CO of the 51st Highland Division, Major General Victor Fortune surrendering to General Erwin Rommel at St Valery-en-Caux on the 12th of June, 1940. This  event forms the central motif of the play.

rml-342_mid



The description of the  location of a scene and the way in which the movement of the camera is described on paper  is one of the most vital parts of a screenplay. Yet for all it’s importance,  it  seems to be one the poor relations of the practical screenwriting world. Why this should be I don’t know.  Description is the first part of a script a reader sees, and if a script, especially a spec script, is a selling document, then the way that you invite your reader into the world of your drama through describing the scenes is a vital part of that marketing process. If   you get the description and the scene setting    wrong, you risk writing a boring script that won’t get past the reject pile on the first readers desk.

Remember.

A script which doesn’t get produced is a dead document. It’s not like a poem or a short story or even a novel. It’s a partly finished plan of a film which never got made; a telephone message never listened to; a technical drawing  for a fabulous palace no maharajah  ever built. It’s the saddest loneliest piece of  work  in the creative world. I should know. I have lots of them lurking in boxes and shelves all round my study.

But, wait. It gets worse than this,  because  if you never manage to get a script actually made, you will never become a better screenwriter. Trust me on this. Only by seeing your mistakes up on screen , by watching them  through clenched fingers , do you ever really ever learn not to make them again. To become a better screenwriter, getting the script produced isn’t the most important thing, it’s the only thing.

So if you want to at least get past that fearsome    threshold guardian, the first  reader, then you have to engage them immediately , and the way to do that is through  your description. Make  them want to  turn the pages right to  the end  by writing taut spare muscular description which draws them in to your story. I can’t write it for you, but here are a few thoughts which might lead you in the right direction.

But before we start,   what exactly   IS description?

For me, I  think of description quite simply   as “what the camera sees”. No more , no less. I constantly see scripts written by inexperienced writers which spend line after line describing incidents, details and action which will never actually feature in the finished film.  I don’t like laws and rules of writing normally. Any good writer breaks rules, that is what they are for. But there is one rule which I think you should always adhere to. I call it……

No see? No write!

If  the camera  won’t see it, then the  writer shouldn’t  write it. End of.

Pause for effect as your forehead furrows.

“Me no Leika !“ , I hear you cry.  “ I am not a camera, I am a writer. I want to drink in and communicate  the richness and depth of the humanity I see unfolding in front of me in all these wonderful  locations I have researched populated with unforgettable characters I have created acting out original pulsating stories. I cannot be constrained by the arbitary needs  of a mere  optical instrument!”

Oh yes you can.

You are writing a plan for a film, and films are a technical exercise in creativity,  so your task as a screenwriter is to  describe and create only what the camera, and hence your audience,  will see. Think of your script like an architect’s plan. If you need to design the cellar because  under the house because that’s where we meet the bogey man , then put it in the screenplay.But  if you are not going there, don’t .  From the first scene to the last, you are describing  what the director will shoot within the camera’s frame, because  that is what the viewer is going to see, and that is what you will describe in your screenplay. That is why the frame is first dimension of screen description, so lets talk about it.

1. Frame

We are organic creatures . We tend to think in tones, themes, loose images, deep metaphors. How do you write about a thing as prosaic as a right angled, rectangular frame? Quite simply this, if you have decided to write a script,( and believe me, it’s not the most obvious  thing to do in the world), then you have to think of telling the story within the frame.  Here’s how you do it…..

Don’t be embarrassed at this bit. Go to your location,(or one like it ) and  stand where you would like the initial point of view to be from , then  take your  thumb and forefinger of one hand at right angles  and with the thumb and forefinger of the other hand, make a rectangle at arms length,  and select the  frame. You now have a wonderful steadycam at your fingertips. Your job as the screenwriter is to describe what the camera will see, as it moves and follows the action of your screenplay within that frame. But it’s not as simple as that, because not everything in the frame is of equal importance. This brings us to the second dimension of description, the rank.

2. Rank

It’s not vital that you literally  know how to compose a shot. Don’t get too hung up on zooms and pans and close ups .That’s the director and DOP’s job .  What IS  important is that you  rank what the camera will see  in order of importance. In  other words if the crucial  content of a scene is that fact that there is a dead body lying in the middle of it, then don’t spend too much time describing the curtains. You  are the writer, and you have to decide  what’s important in  the  scene, and then describe it. The director will shoot it the way she wants to , but at least you made the initial decision about what is important in the scene.

But as well as the frame, and  the rank, there is a third dimension in description. Yes, you guessed it. Time.

3. Time

You may not hear it, but from the moment your screenplay opens, a clock is ticking. A timeline starts  as you remorselessly tell your story in the present tense as it happens. (and yes, flashbacks are told in the present tense too!). A painting can hang in a gallery for a hundred years, frozen until the watcher looks at it, a poem sits snugly in its book waiting to be opened and read, as fresh as a daisy, but a screenplay is not frozen like that. It is a dynamic document, where each line is a second or two of very expensive screentime, and you have to be constantly aware of the constraints of this.

With that screen clock ticking remorselessly,  eating up your reader’s(and hopefully your audience’s)  patience, you must  master the third dimension of Screenwriting  description  as efficiently and quickly as you can.

So to sum up  Screenwriting Description. Describe what the camera will see, in the order that it is important, and at the time that the narrative demands.

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